Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he'd like to eat. "I'll have some f*ckin' French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f*ckin' French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don't know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don't want the f*ckin' French toast."
A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament. From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament. The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV. A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night. She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it. At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited. He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!" One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"
2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper 'these feel just like your sisters' and try and hold on for 8 seconds !'